Just over two years ago, I made the decision to leave my job as an educational assistant and behavioral therapist to go back to school (because obviously my previous 5 years of post secondary education weren't enough, and I'm a glutton for punishment). I enrolled in a fast-tracked dental hygiene program at a private college and set my sights on the wide unknown.
During the twenty months I was in school, I questioned my own strength and resilience, almost daily. Between losing my Oma in April of 2018 followed by my Granny in December of 2018, and trying to balance the overwhelming workloads of both the theoretical and clinic aspects of my program, my mental health took a hit. I constantly questioned my ability to meet each semester's requirements (most of my DH classmates will share a similar sentiment), I was missing out on social events, I rescinded my title as 'Bridesmaid' in one of my dearest friend's wedding, I was uncharacteristically moody (for those of you that may fight me on my use of the word 'uncharacteristically', just let me have my moment 😉 ), and above all, I had forgotten how important it was to take care of myself.
Now, before I continue, for those of you that are new to my health journey, I'll break it down Coles Notes style:
2013: A CT scan following a car accident revealed a tumour on the left parietal lobe of my brain
2014: A successful craniotomy and complete tumorectomy was done and recovery began
2015: First annual post-op MRI showed no sign of tumour regrowth
2016: Second annual post-op MRI, still no abnormal regrowth
2017: Third annual post-op MRI, still clear
2018-2019: What annual MRI??
Now that we're almost caught up, here's the real tea; while in school, I neglected to follow up with my annual MRIs two years in a row. Why? Simply because every time I thought about scheduling an appointment, I thought about the valuable clinic/school time I would be missing that I wouldn't get back, and trust me when I say EVERY. SINGLE. SECOND. of that time was crucial to my education (if you know, you know), but in the grand scheme of things, that was just an excuse (albeit a seemingly valid one) that I chose to make time and time again, and as my ol' pal Ben Franklin says "he that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else".
2020: The beginning of the year came with a new found freedom; I had finally completed my program, became a Registered Dental Hygienist, and was so excited to be free of the metaphorical shackles of educational institution. My new years resolution was to regain social contact outside of the school's walls (which came to a screaming halt thanks to Covid-19), and focus on my health which had previously been an abandoned effort. I visited my physician and set up an appointment for a long overdue MRI.
As quickly as my MRI appointment came, so did the dreaded phone call from my doctor's office.
"Your MRI results are in, the doctor would like to see you as soon as possible"
Having gone through this before, I had a strong feeling right then and there, that history was about to repeat itself.
Sure enough, on March 3rd, 2020, I was told that my tumour was back (not exactly one of my big plans for 2020, but hey, sometimes you've gotta roll with the punches); and thus begins 'Life With a Brain Tumor-Part 2'
As of now, all that is sure is that the tumour is very small (assumed in it's early phases) and has regrown in the same location. The course of action is currently unknown and will stay that way until early June when I am able to see my neurosurgeon and get some more answers. In the meantime, I can't help but to wonder if it could have been found earlier had I not taken a hiatus from my regular scans, but my mom recently told me (and yes, mothers do know best) to treat life like a book; when you come to an issue/chapter you can't control, close the book, put it back on the shelf, and revisit it when the time is right.
I write about my journey not to elicit pity or be a bearer of bad news, but as a sort of cathartic release and currently, a break in the monotony of daily quarantine. My goal is to share the importance of looking after yourself and being an advocate for your own health, and inspire people to find an outlet that helps them through their struggles.
With that, I wish everyone health, love, and prosperity in a time of such fear and uncertainty. And now, I'm closing my book and setting it aside until I'm ready to write the next chapter.
-Jane❤
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| *This cute toque is a Roots/Brain Tumour Fundation of Canada collab. The Hats for Hope campaign has helped to fund the hope needed for the many individuals affected by a brain tumour. |
